Difference between being friends and being friendly to students

A friendly atmosphere in the classroom refers to a positive and supportive environment where teachers and students interact with each other in a respectful and cordial manner. In such an atmosphere, teachers are approachable, welcoming, and show empathy towards their students. They create a safe and inclusive space where students feel comfortable expressing themselves and asking questions.

On the other hand, friendship between a teacher and a student involves a personal and emotional connection that goes beyond the boundaries of a professional relationship. While it is important for teachers to be friendly towards their students, they should avoid crossing any boundaries that could lead to an inappropriate relationship or create conflicts of interest. Teachers should maintain a level of professionalism and treat all their students equally, without favoritism or bias.

It is generally not recommended for teachers to be friends with their students. Some potential disadvantages include:

1. Blurring of boundaries: When teachers become friends with their students, it can be difficult to maintain a professional relationship and establish clear boundaries. This can lead to confusion and misunderstandings. When teachers become too friendly with their students, it can create confusion and undermine their authority in the classroom. Students may begin to view the teacher as a peer rather than an authority figure, which can lead to disruptions in the learning environment. Additionally, the blurring of boundaries can create opportunities for inappropriate behavior or even accusations of misconduct. Teachers should strive to maintain a professional distance while still being approachable and supportive to their students. Building positive relationships with students can be achieved through activities such as class discussions, group projects, and extracurricular activities.
2. Favoritism: Being friends with some students can create the perception of favoritism. Favoritism in education can be detrimental to the learning experience of students. When teachers show favoritism towards certain students, it can create a sense of unfairness and inequality in the classroom. This can lead to resentment among other students and can negatively impact their motivation to learn. It is important for teachers to treat all students equally and provide them with the same opportunities for academic success. Teachers should also avoid showing bias towards certain students based on factors such as race, gender, or socioeconomic status. By creating a fair and supportive learning environment, teachers can help all students reach their full potential.
3. Loss of authority: Teachers who are too friendly with their students may find it challenging to maintain control of the classroom or discipline students when necessary. Some teachers simply prefer to maintain a professional relationship with their students. Sometimes a bitter pill must be given for the greater good of the child. It's not easy when a student sees you as a friend. This can destroy your relationship. Therefore, it is best to maintain a healthy distance between student and teacher.
4. Ethical concerns: Being friends with students can raise ethical concerns, particularly if the relationship becomes too close or inappropriate. Inappropriate behavior can lead to accusations of misconduct, damage to the teacher's reputation, and legal consequences. Therefore, it is crucial for teachers to be mindful of their interactions with students and maintain a professional relationship at all times.
5. Emotional burden: If a teacher becomes too emotionally invested in their students, it can be challenging to maintain objectivity and make fair judgments about their academic performance or behavior. Since we tend to judge in favor of our friends, it becomes difficult to be objective. Teachers are responsible for the progress of several students. This includes grading homework and completing grades. When a student is your friend, it can be difficult to grade them, especially if they don't perform well. This can lead to conflict between students and a teacher.
6. Class management can be a problem: Students will start pushing and testing you as soon as they feel that you are a great teacher. In addition, you are likely to find yourself in a confrontation with one or more students who have decided to take control of the class from you. Your approach to managing comrades will cause your students to often ignore your authority. Since the student and teacher are friends, the students will feel that the class rules do not apply to them.

However, it is important for teachers to establish a positive rapport with their students. This can be achieved through open communication, mutual respect, and a supportive learning environment. Building a positive relationship can help students feel more comfortable in the classroom and can lead to better academic outcomes. Teachers can also serve as mentors and role models for their students, providing guidance and support as they navigate their academic and personal lives. It is possible to have a positive and professional relationship with students without crossing any boundaries or blurring the lines between friendship and authority.

Carl Rogers [2, 25], the US educational psychologist suggested that authenticity was the single most important teacher characteristic: The teacher can be a real person in her relationship with the students. She can be enthusiastic, can be bored, can be interested in students, can be angry, can be sensitive and sympathetic…Thus, she is a person to her students, not a faceless embodiment of a curricular requirement nor a sterile tube through which knowledge is passed from one generation to the next.

Carl Rogers [3, 89] described three qualities of a teacher necessary for learning:

1. Respect. Teachers respect each student using what Rogers (1961) calls unconditionally positive attitude (UPR). Here students are accepted as they are, without any conditions. Note that this is very different from accepting unacceptable behavior. This kind of respect for students helps to increase their self-esteem and sense of self-efficacy, which in turn promotes learning.
2. Empathic understanding. Teachers try to look at things from the student's point of view. They understand what it means to be excited, lost, confused, proud, frustrated, curious, anxious, confident, or bored. They also know what it's like to have a teacher who cares about them, who cheers for their success, who believes they are worth something and can achieve a lot.
3. Authenticity or congruence. Teachers teach from their true self. They do not play a role and do not project what they think a teacher should be. Rather, their teaching personality matches who they are. What and how they teach is consistent with their principles. Real teachers should not rely on methods or techniques; instead, they can trust their own values and experience. This does not mean that research-based strategies are not important; instead, real teachers teach children, not programs, methods, or strategies.

Overall, teachers should not try to be a “teacher”. They should stop themselves whenever they find themselves behaving more as a job title rather than as themselves. They should avoid speaking as if they are some sort of mouthpiece for the teaching profession or their school. They should not seek out additional ways of differentiating themselves as a teacher by sitting with rather than in front of. Talking with rather than at.

Teachers should not pretend omniscience. If they do not know an answer to a question, they should say that, rather than pretending that they do know or confusing students with roundabout explanations and avoidances.

Being authentic does not mean abdicating the responsibilities and duties of a teacher. They can still give all the instructions, set all the homework and do all the things that they need to do. They can be appropriately authoritative. The difference is that it is they being authoritative, not they using the clock of teacher superiority and hierarchical authority to do it.

Some educational advisors and writers would say the opposite. Here, for example, is Sue Cowley [1, 57] writing on “How to Survive Your First Year in Teaching”.

References:

1. Cowley, S. (2003) How to Survive Your First Year in Teaching. Published by Continuum.
2. Rogers, C.R. (1961). On becoming a person. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company.
3. Rogers, C.R. & Freiberg, H.J. (1994). Freedom to learn (3rd Ed). Columbus, OH: Merrill/Macmillan.