This article is devoted to the issue of self-confidence since self-confidence plays very important role in our life. As a matter of fact shy people suffering from the lack of confidence and self-doubt seldom are success. This issue is very relevant to the present day, as the majority of today's youth suffer from depression and self-doudt. Unfortunately, the Internet doesn’t provide enough information on how to overcome this " disease», and if there is information, it is very generic and there is no specific descriptions and finding a way out. Therefore, this article examines questions such as «what is depression», «how to deal with it» and «how to become more confident».
Depression is a state of low spirits and aversion to activity or apathy that can affect one’s behavior, feelings and sense of well-being. [4]
People with a depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, angry, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, experience relationship difficulties and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present.
Depressed mood is a feature of some psychiatric syndromes such as major depressive disorder, but it may also be a normal reaction, as long as it does not persist long term, to life events such as bereavement, a symptom of some bodily ailments or a side effect of some drugs and medical treatments. A DSM diagnosis distinguishes an episode (or 'state') of depression. [6]
Currently, it is the depression — the most widespread mental disorder. It affects one in ten over the age of 40 years, two thirds of them — women. Among people over 65 years of depression occurs three times more often. Also, depression and depressive states is subject to about 5 % of children and adolescents aged 10–16 years. According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of adolescent morbidity. [3]
Depression — a condition that affects not just one person. Depression gets in the relationships within the family, at work, everywhere.
What happens when someone comes into the view of a man going through a depression, when their eyes meet? How much individuals vary in their nature, and the same number of diverse forms of relationship with the person in a state of depression. Even in couples where someone is ill with depression, when one spouse, by virtue of the choice of life partner, is next to the other, the sick depression throughout his life, there are non-uniform pattern of interpersonal interactions.
But it is possible to note the similarities in all their diversity. For example, the majority of depressed individuals buddies, one way or another, is expressed uncertainty.
Some people have reported that the detachment and stereotypical responses depressive interlocutor make them a sense of participation in hard work, and that after this conversation, they feel exhausted and exhausted.
Many men who truly love their wives, say something like: «I always remember what my wife is suffering, but that suffering I can not comprehend. I would like to be near her, to sympathize, to help, but it did not work. It and she does not know, what it lacks. "
Devastation is difficult to express in words. Obviously, they are on the other side of the mind that this feeling could be expressed through words. Fear of «get» in this emptiness and to discover the feeling of intimacy bottomless pit, often, forces the human family, experiencing depression, «run away» in a purely domestic activities related to the care and maintenance of physical comfort, thus expressing their participation to the depressed family member in order to avoid close contact with him, and thereby dooming him to solitude.
Among professionals, designed to help a person suffering from depression, doctors and psychologists, is the typical form of a similar response. The temptation for the purpose of self-defense, as far as possible, to limit the deep contact with a person is depressed, and keep at a respectful distance, keeping a certain distance in the fear of «contamination» of the senses.
The doldrums of a loved one is always very keenly experienced by others. These experiences are not only sympathetic, but also with the state of helplessness and confusion they experience.
However, the understanding from loved ones — this is what man needs most, which is in depression. And without an understanding of empathy seems false.
This is due to the fact that depression itself, moreover, that, as inner experience, is also a kind of message to others, especially to relatives. The inner reality does not exist in itself, as well as the inner feelings can not arise out of nowhere. All human life is there inside is not so much for himself, but in the end, for the manifestations in the outside world through the interaction with the people around him, especially loved ones, those whom we love (or who we want to love). A man can not experience isolation all the time, as we all know. But it can not exist in isolation is not just because he has some need for communication, but because it has intrinsic need to love and be loved. In whatever form this requirement is not expressed — is the essence of the fundamental basis of the emotional life of man, without which he is only the cells that produce consumption and excretion. Depressive states, or rather, depressive behavior, should be regarded as an expression of unmet needs for love, or, more precisely, as aptly put psychoanalyst Rado.
Many of the love-thing tradegies occur as a result of depression. But often, perhaps more often, the person with depression may not feel the acuteness of his need for love.
The tendency to depression is associated with lack of love in childhood. When a child develops, experiencing the chronic shortage of love, he has to adapt in order to survive in this situation. This device is formed that has specific psychological protection, especially denial. This is reflected in the fact that the child has to deny his need for love: there is no love — it means I do not need it.
Such a protective method of response becomes stable. The problem is that the unconscious psychological defenses. As a result of this dissonance — a terrible yawning chasm occurs between man experiencing depression, and the people around him. After all, this person does not know the cause of his condition, but is something that seems to others exaggerated, contrived, and even irrelevant.
Of course, not everything is so tragic. The problem often lies not in the fact that a person close people experiencing depression, do not like it, but the fact that they can not express their love and care for him as he desired. They can not give him what he is so necessary: milk, which seemed so little chest of his mother, or in the bottle, which replaced the chest when he was still a baby, and love in the eyes of his mother, when he learned to eat himself out plates with a spoon. This is even more apparent indifference of relatives becomes painful if the relationship turns out to be a repetition of a child.
We must be able to express their love, as well as the need to learn to notice the love from their loved ones. But how to learn to notice the love of his mother to a small child, if the mother can not express it? Perhaps his mother is to blame? Or the mother of her mother? Or is our society and hard life?
Depression usually occurs as a consequence of the loss of psychological supports, when a person feels doomed to live in an environment where he can not find the meaning. It is important to understand that any situation in itself is not an objectively negative. It's all about personal reactions to the situation. Depression occurs at the level of consciousness, not to the level of events. Treatment of depression leads to an understanding of some of the principles of consciousness.
The first way of treatment of depression is reduced to finding the meaning of life. If the meaning of the case, which did not justify themselves and led to depression, you can try to find meaning in a different sphere. The problem is that after the loss of meaning, a man falls into such illusion when everything seems pointless even in the gloomy sense of the word. However, there is senselessness and positive aspect, which contributes to the understanding of the treatment of depression. The lack of meaning — is freedom. If life does not make sense, death is the more meaningless. [5]
Treating depression helps switching of attention — you can do things that seem interesting to depression, or to discover new classes. At first, everything new will seem meaningless continuation of the same meaningless life. However, opening their edges, may be interested in a new hobby, and gradually fill the spiritual emptiness. The best option when a new session has a deeper meaning than the life that a person lost on the way to depression. In this scenario, a new life becomes more meaningful than ever. For example, it may be a new, more interesting work, a new company or a new outlook.
Treating depression switching attention is the most common method of narrow-minded. I do not think he's the best, but it is quite effective. Sometimes finding a new realm for the understanding of life is not easy. Most often this happens spontaneously, as if something more than a person sends a gift of fate — the next step in its movement through life.
Furthermore, many authors write about depression, such as John Green- our contemporary. He has written the book «Looking for Alaska». This book reveals the story of a boy named Miles. He was taken to a different school, but because of the uncertainty, he was afraid thus he would not find friends. However, he found friends. Then he fell in love with a beautiful girl Alaska, he was afraid to admit his feelings, so he lost her.
Pudge (Miles's nickname) was suffering from depression. However, new school, new people, new teachers did not scare him, he thought that if there he didn’t have any friends, he would not lose anything, it would be like in the previous school. But he was used to the conditions, which were in his old school. He was accustomed to the conditions of an outcast.
Pudge was not sure of himself, so he adjusted to those conditions in which were his friends. He began to smoke, drink, break the rules. But this uncertainty has passed quickly. However, there is another, which is why he was depressed. Miles loved Alaska. She was his ideal, he loved her all, loved her perfect imperfection. Pudge tried to confess to feelings, but Alaska said she loved another, although she liked Miles. It seems that she was telling no, but at the same time, yes. And also there are not only in books. In today's youth are the same problems. All depression is that people fixate on a certain event point. And you're more than they focus on it, the less force to try to forget this problem. People do not move on, they are either stuck in the past, or somewhere in the future, but none of them lives in the present moment, here and uncertainty, and hence depression.
Here it is a problem of depression that people can commit rash acts, such as suicide. Everybody can fight, everyone deserves to live, not to exist. The main thing — is to defeat your uncertainty and anguish. Life is one and, unfortunately, very short. Therefore, you should be happy with almost everything, love nature, love, family, and just enjoy life.
Литература:
- http://olga2901l.narod.ru/Depressiya.htm
- http://www.psychoanalyst.ru/depression/preamble.htm
- http://heatpsy.narod.ru/06/ast6.html
- http://www.wonderzine.com/wonderzine/life/life-opinion/214085-depression
- http://progressman.ru/2009/10/lechenie-depressii/
- https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Депрессия
